Merry XMas Ron!
by Squeek1504
Summary: PG 13 Due to adult content...O.o...Hermione gets an embarrassing gift! LOL!


**Merry X-Mas, Ron!!**

**A Very Special, X-mas One Shot, About An Embarrassing Blunder… . … . **

**Disclaimer: I own a shiny new pair of boots, but I do not own Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, or Hermione Granger, okay!?! OKAY?! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING, ALRIGHT?!? (breaks down sobbing) WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?!!?!? (looks up) YAY! PREZZIES!!!**

**It was early Christmas morning, Ron stretched and yawned. The sun was just coming up, and he looked up just in time to see Harry enter the room. He had a sly look on his face. **

"**Good morning Ron…you still sleepy?" As soon as he was about to answer, Harry leapt on him. **

**"AAAHHHHH!!!!! GER'OFF!!" Harry was trying to give him a kiss. "HAVE YOU GONE DAFT? GOD! I ALREADY TOLD YOU I'M NOT INTERESTED!!" **

**Harry gave him puppy eyes and whimpered. "But…but…mistletoe!" He pointed upwards. Ron looked up and saw a sprig of green with white berries. "Oh bugger all…okay, but only one kiss." **

**Harry grinned, "Yay! Kisses for Ronny!" Just as he was about to kiss him, Malfoy walked casually into the room. **

**"Harry! What about me!? Don't I get a kiss too?" He made the puppy face, causing Harry to resort to a quick peck on the cheek for Ron. Then he jumped off Ron's bed and rushed over to Draco. "Hunnybuns!", he cried excitedly as he flung himself at his startled boy toy. "Yay! Drakie kisses!" 'Drakie' caught Harry as he was about to fall. "God, how much sugar did you have?" **

**Harry licked his lips. "Mmm, nummies. Want to taste?" Draco smiled. "Of course, sweetie. Merry Christmas!" He looked over in Ron's direction. "Oooh, mistletoe!" He turned around and started to spring in a fashion much like his boyfriend, Harry had let him go and was giggling from the other side of the room where he was standing. He landed on top of Ron's legs, and Ron exploded. "AAAAARRRRGGHHH!!! I TOLD YOU! I'M NOT GAY! I'M STRAIGHT! NOW, CLEAR OFF!! BOTH OF YOU! SHOO!!"**

**As if on cue, Hermione walked into the room to see Ron spring out of bed, and tear the mistletoe off of his bed. He held it above his head and started off. "GOD! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU TWO AND YOUR… YOUR… CONSTANT INVASION OF MY PERSONAL SPACE! CAN'T YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT I AM NOT INTERESTED! AND I'LL BE DAMNNED IF I'M GOING TO BE TURNED INTO ONE OF YOU RAINBOW TOTING, MAN LOVING, HOMO-" He halted immediately, because Hermione had kissed him. " Merry Christmas, Ron! Oh, hello Malfoy, hello Harry!"**

**They had been laughing the whole time. Draco looked up, and he greeted Hermione. **

"**Oh, hello sweetie! Merry Christmas! Harry here nailed a sprig of mistletoe to Ron's bed. We were just starting to-" He stopped short because Hermione was laughing her ass off. "What's so funny?" Harry snapped out of dreamland, looking at Hermione. "Hmm? Draco, I didn't nail the mistletoe…but I would have! It was really funny!" Hermione finished laughing. "Harry…it ..it was me!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG!! THAT WAS PRICELESS!!" She had started up again, and Ron, getting up, grumbled a few colorful oaths and headed to the bathroom. "But… but… I don't get it… why did you? I'm so lost!" Harry stood there, looking utterly dumb assed. "Well, during Easter, he dyed Crookshanks pink and green. This was my payback!" Hermione explained. Ron walked back in the room, which was followed by Draco squealing like a little girl. "YAY!! PREZZIE TIME!!" He and Harry did a little jig, which was immediately followed by Ron sniping at them. "Alright, but none of that… that queer stuff.." **

**The four of them climbed down into the Gryffindor commons room. They had barely gotten down the stairs when Harry started screaming. "PREZZIES!!" He leapt from the stair case onto someones present. Hermione cast a nervous glance at Draco, and then Ron. "Do you suppose we should try to calm him down?" Draco laughed. "Don't worry about it, he's always like this. Hey, Harry, why don't you open the first gift?" Harry squealed with joy. "WEE!! …wait, I'll let Hermione open this one first, okay?" At this, Hermione leaped up and began dancing around. "YAY!! I GO FIRST! I GO FIRST!" Hermione stopped and stared at Harry. "Why?" Harry looked puzzled, and gave a weird glance in Draco's direction. Draco stood up and announced that he would hand out a present to each person, and then that person would open their gift. Harry went first because he was whining like a puppy. Draco picked a red box tied with green ribbon, and Harry snatched it out of his hands eagerly. **

**"Well, what is it?" Hermione asked. "YAY!! IT'S A MAN-THONG!!" Harry cried at the top of his lungs while holding up a red leather thong with an enchanted picture of a snitch on the front. "Hey! Ron, loo… umm Ron, are you okay?" Ron sat there with a shocked look on his face. "o. 0…" Draco glanced over and saw Ron sitting there. "Umm, is he okay?" **

"**I think so…hey, can I open one now?" Hermione inquired. "Sure, sweetie. Oooh, look! This one's from your mom!" Hermione looked suspicious. "But… my mom is insane… Draco, would you open it for me? I'm afraid of it…" Harry, hearing this, stopped hula dancing and leapt up, snatching the package from Malfoy. "PREZZIE! PREZ-" He stood there, staring at the opened box. "Well? What is it? I want to know!" Hermione looked like she was going die of anticipation. "It…it's a…it's a DILDO!! HAHAHAHA!!!" He picked it up and threw it across the room to Draco, who caught it and stared at it in utter disbelief. "OH. MY.GOD. IT.. IT'S GREEN! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! HEY! RON, CATCH!" He tossed it at the immobile figure sitting on the couch. It slapped his face, jolting him out of his petrification, and landed in his lap. "Wha? OH GOD!! AAUUUHHH! NASTY!" He picked it up and threw it at Hermione, who then placed it back in the box. **

**"HERMIONE!! WHY DID YOUR MOM SEND YOU…THAT?!?" Ron was so red, he looked like he was going to die of a coronary. "I don't know, but last year, she sent me a dead rat!! How the hell am I supposed to know what goes on in her messed up head?!?!" Harry sniggered form the corner of the room he was standing. "Maybe your mom wanted you to have a very merry Christmas!!" Draco grinned maliciously. "And a happy new year!" Hermione stuck her nose up. "Yeah, well…YOU'RE JUST JELOUS!" Harry looked hurt, and his man slave stood up to comfort him. "Yeah, I always wanted one of those…WAHHH!!!!" Harry broke down crying, and Hermione walked over, hanging her head. "Well, you can have mine. Merry Christmas Harry!"… Harry looked up and smiled. "YAY! I GET FLOPPY MAN TOY!!" **

**And the Gang had a very merry Christmas indeed!**

**(The end! Please review!! Flames are accepted! Oooh! And tell your friends!! Merry X-Mas everyone!!)**


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